I’m not sure what triggered it today. I don’t think the feelings of pain and loss ever, ever go away and today I miss him badly. Sometimes a song on my Ipod will find me washing dishes with tears streaming down my face, or a picture of him will flash up on my computer, or my kids will ask about him. Most days are good and I remember him fondly, but every now and then I remember that I’ll never see him again. I’ll remember the pain of the phone call telling me he was gone. I remember racing to his house in the dark of the night, the flashing red & blue lights in front of his house and wrapping my arms around Tom, not even trying to fathom the horrors that he saw. I’ll remember the anger that he chose to leave us. Then all I feel is loss . . . It’s nothing that can ever go away. If there was a pill I could take to numb that pain I would. It hurts in a way no one else can understand, unless they’ve lived it. But even then it’s different for all of us. Today. I’m just missing him.
November 15, 2009 By 4 Comments
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